Our third and final IUI happened in August. I was on vacation from work so
I didn't have to call in which was a relief.
I work in a very small office so when one person is out, the entire
office feels it. I hate calling out or having to take time off although they reassure me it is fine. While we waited for the sample to be ready, we found a
great little diner. I wanted to eat all the food but I refrained.
We found out on a Monday a couple weeks later that the third IUI
was not successful. The office I work in was closed so I was able to cry in
peace. And cry I did. I cried out to God about my frustrations over the
situation. Seriously, twelve years!! Did He not have parenthood in the plan for
us? I really can't imagine that to be true.
James came home from work and talked me into trying the IVF. He asked me if
money were not an issue, would I try IVF. Without hesitation I answered,
"Yes."
He said, "We'll just have us a test tube baby. You remember back in
the 90's when everyone made fun of them? And now that we're all adults we look
at them and think, 'You're a f*^#%+~g miracle!'" I laughed and picked up
the phone to call the doctor.
My friend that referred us, messaged me to check in on Tuesday. I
told her that we were scheduled to consult about IVF. She gave me several great
blogs to check out. I read one from start to finish. This couple had gone
through IVF back in 2010 and then had a frozen embryo transfer since then—both
successful! Reading through her IVF experience FREAKED. ME. OUT.
We went to the doctor for our consult. He explained everything
and was so encouraging and hopeful for us. He put me on birth control for the
next few weeks. I know, weird. But that is how it is done. I guess to control
the schedule a little bit. I'm not really sure. I didn't question him on it
because I had read about other girls taking birth control prior to IVF.
Like I said earlier, we don't have $15,000 just lying around. So we went to
our credit union and applied for a loan. We were notified the next day that we
had been approved! We got the loan for enough to cover 1 round of IVF plus a
frozen embryo transfer (FET) should the first one not take. The IVF lab
had an option to pay a little bit more and it would give us the
chance to have fresh & frozen transfers up to 6 times or our money back if
it didn't result in a live baby. We decided not to go that route because
as far as we knew, I would have no problem conceiving.
It is all super scary stuff. Huge decisions. We owe all of that
money regardless of the outcome. It’s basically another car payment. And should
we get pregnant, a child is only going to stretch our funds further. I have
always had dreams of being a stay at home mom but those dreams just seem to
be drifting farther and farther away.
During the summer, James interviewed at a church for a part time worship leader
position. The salary would cover the monthly payments for the baby loan.
We held our breath and asked God if this was the answer but it didn't
work out. For now, we have rented a room to a friend and the rent helps
to cover the loan payment. We have had to take a lot of time off of work
(especially me) and I have taken on a third job- part time virtual assistant.
It had been my hope that it would help us to pay down some debt but that hasn't
happened. The extra paycheck has saved our butts though with our short
paychecks so at least we aren't diving further into debt.
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