We gave it more time and a whole lot of prayer (by us
and many others) but we still weren't pregnant. We started thinking that maybe
we were meant to adopt so we started some research. We were still under the age
of 25 and found out that we were too young for any international adoption. Some
countries required you to be 25 years or older but most were 30.
We considered private adoption within the U.S. but it was so expensive. Not
that international adoption wouldn't have been wicked expensive too. We
didn't make much money and it was so overwhelming to think of coming up with
$20,000+. I remember James calling an adoption agency to ask some questions and
when they told him the amount it would cost (which would cover legal fees, home
studies, etc) he was appalled and said, "So basically what you are telling
me is you are selling babies for $20,000."
Obviously, we realize adoption agencies are not
selling babies and that there are fees that need to be covered. But it is a
really frustrating place to be in. We felt we had love to share with a child but
we couldn't seem to have our own baby naturally and we had to pay thousands of
dollars to be able to love on a baby that someone didn't want or didn't feel
they could care for. It was maddening! Someone just give us a baby!
Next, we researched adoption through social services.
We realized that most adoptions happen via fostering. So we started filling out
paperwork to become foster parents but before we had our paperwork finished, we
got a call from our previous pastor saying he heard we were interested in
fostering and he had a family that was in need. A family with 3 children needed
respite care. It all happened so fast but we brought those 3 kids home a couple
days later. We had them for just 3 weeks but it felt like so much longer. It
was so hard. Going from no children to 3 children with very, very full
schedules was quite an undertaking. It was hard transition for all 5 of us but
James & I were so happy we were in a place to care for those 3 kids even
for a short time. After that, we decided to take a break and give it a
little more time.
We requested paperwork to become foster parents 2 more times (the most
recent being January 2015.) but there always seemed to be some life change that
happened that prevented us from turning it in.
This last time, a friend that had work experience in
social services, warned us against doing foster care. He said he had seen too
many couples in our situation get crushed when a child that had been placed
with them for a year was given back to their parents. He was looking out for us
and wanted us to avoid that hurt.
So we decided to go back to the doctor.